Scalpel, Beach, Tacos: Why Getting Medical Treatment in Puerto Vallarta Actually Makes Sense
You could fly to LA, drop $20K on dental work, and cry in traffic for two weeks.
Or—you could come to Puerto Vallarta, fix your teeth, your stomach, and your sanity… and maybe learn what real guacamole tastes like.
So, Why Puerto Vallarta?
Because it has what most U.S. hospitals don’t:
- World-class care that doesn’t bankrupt you
- Clinics that look like boutique hotels
- Recovery with ocean views instead of insurance calls
Also, if something goes wrong, you’ll die in paradise. Honestly, not a bad way to go.
The Most Requested Tune-Ups: Teeth and Tummy
Let’s get to the point. People come here mostly to:
1. Get a New Smile Without Selling a Kidney
You’ve heard of “dental tourism”? Puerto Vallarta is practically the VIP lounge.
Here are some of the big names in town:
PV Smile
Led by Dr. Noel Rivas, known for doing dental implants that don’t fall out when you bite into a taco.
- Implants: ~$900 USD
- Crowns: ~$350 USD
- Full smile makeovers: Cheaper than your iPhone
Dental Avant Garde
Modern facilities, English-speaking staff, and zero shady vibes.
- Highly rated for cosmetic dentistry
- You can actually get veneers and margaritas in the same zip code
2. Shrink the Stomach, Not the Wallet
Thinking of bariatric surgery but tired of your insurance saying it’s “optional”? Come to PV. Your stomach may be optional, but here they’ll still treat you like a human.
CMQ Hospitals (CMQ Premiere & CMQ City Center)
Not a resort, but close.
- Gastric sleeve: ~$6,000 USD
- Gastric bypass: ~$7,500 USD
- Hospital room with A/C (yes, it matters)
- Surgeons trained in the U.S. or Mexico City — real credentials, not from YouTube
Hospital Joya
They offer bariatric packages that include the surgery, hospital stay, transportation, and sometimes even a smoothie plan. Because apparently, you’re not allowed to eat pizza the next day.
Where Will You Crash While You Heal?
Look, recovery is important. And if you’re going to stare at the ceiling for a week, it might as well be vaulted, with an ocean breeze and the sound of mariachi in the distance.
Short-Term Rentals
- One-bedroom apartments: $50–$90 USD/night
- Villas for the “I’m still pretending I’m on vacation” vibe: from $120 USD/night
- Located near clinics, with A/C, kitchen, and enough Netflix to keep you sane
Buying a Place?
Yes, people do it. No, it’s not insane.
If you’re coming back for follow-ups (or because you fell in love with the shrimp tacos), long-term makes sense.
- Condos near the Hotel Zone or Marina Vallarta: starting at $150,000 USD
- Beachfront properties? Add a zero.
- Puerto Vallarta real estate is booming—unlike your home market, where “fixer-upper” means “likely haunted”
The Rest of the Experience: Not Just Scalpels
You’re not here just to be sliced and stitched.
Between appointments, enjoy:
- Malecón strolls (ideal for post-op gentle walking)
- Taco crawls (not bariatric-approved, but emotionally essential)
- Day trips to Yelapa or Sayulita if you’re mobile and mildly reckless
- Tequila tastings — just don’t mix with antibiotics, unless you want to hallucinate your surgeon singing rancheras
Some Reality, Please?
Let’s get real for a sec:
- This isn’t a fairy tale. Do your homework. Not every clinic with a palm tree in front is legit.
- Ask for certifications. If your surgeon’s diploma is framed in Comic Sans, walk away.
- Don’t book surgery AND whale-watching in the same 48 hours. Your stitches will thank you.
Worth It?
If your health insurance back home gives you heartburn, and you’re okay with some sun while recovering from major procedures—then yes, this is your place.
Puerto Vallarta delivers on care, cost, and quality of life. You’ll go home lighter, cleaner, straighter-toothed… or maybe you won’t go home at all.
And if anyone asks where you got that glowing look, you can say:
“Medical procedure. And a lot of fish tacos.”